


Of Duties and Hypothetical Dreams

by blinkstated



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Explicit Language, F/M, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Romance, Shisui Point of View
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:14:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24841372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blinkstated/pseuds/blinkstated
Summary: "Captain, I know you love the village, as I love the village. But don't forget to love yourself too." She reached her other hand up to brush back his hair and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. That night, she didn't give more, and he didn't ask for more. But the night spoke in tongues of change, and new beginnings.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Shisui
Comments: 12
Kudos: 72





	1. Accidental Beginnings

_His hands were coated in blood, he didn't know if it was more of his or someone else's, and at this point, he couldn't just recall who many enemy nin he had taken down. His eyes ran red, blood dripped off his eyelashes from the overuse of his Sharingan. Though his eyes continued to burn the type of red that his clans Kekigenkai showed when anger was the only emotion they had left to show._

_Who he was angry at? Well, he didn't quite know. He should be angry at himself for letting this happen, he was the captain. His team looked to him for guidance._

_He was angry at Itachi, even on his very unusual slip-up, Itachi was right there to pick up the slack. As Shisui would cruse under his breath, his little cousin would swop in and fill the holes he forgot to replace._

_He was angry at Genma. The one that always thought outside of the box, the unorthodox ninja. Could he have seen this coming? When the Uchiha's of the team would look to logic, always seemed to have a different spin. He wondered where he learned that._

_He was angry at her. He was angry at her for million reasons, though none in her control. He was angry at her for being the medic, and how the enemy nin seemed to go after her first. He was angry when he knew she was overwhelmed and running low on charka and would always attend to the other members of the squad before assessing her own needs. Burns and cuts littered her skin, yet the first words out of her mouth would be, are you hurt? He hated that part of her._

* * *

He recalls the first time he saw her, when he really saw her. It was their first mission as their four-man squad. He still wasn't so sure how this would go. He had been training her along with the other members of the newly formed team to the bone. They'd get through their training sessions on soldier pills. Sparing with each other, all out. Nothing was off-limits. They broke each other's bones through charka enhanced punches. Crisped the skin of one another with a powerful fire jutsu. Pushed the limits of their mental pain tolerance through genjutsu. They did this all in the name of comradery.

To make sure when _four_ went out, _four_ returned to the village.

He had seen her hold her own in their sessions, by the third month of their pre-training, he had stopped holding back as much as he had been. Of course, his most deadly attacks were still never deployed against any member of their team.

Though at this point he had never seen her in an actual battle. So, when their first mission as an Anbu squad of some intel gathering turned south. He had somewhat prepared to protect her.

He was more than pleasantly surprised when he didn't have to watch her back. The reality was, they were back to back, working as one. It was fluid, like a dance, but most dances didn't have sounds of metal clashing, bones snapping, or the gasps of one's last breath coated in a layer of blood.

And when he leaned over to ask if she was okay, she responded:

"Captain." Though her breath shortened, he could hear the command in her voice.

"The four commandments of medical-nin."

"Clause one," she spits out as she slices a neck of an incoming nin.

"No medical ninja shall ever stop medical treatment until the lives of their party members have come to an end." Her back is pushed back in line with his.

"Clause two," She pushes out between clenched teeth as she takes a hit to her gut.

"No medical ninja shall ever stand on the front lines." She grabs the hand that had just assaulted her gut, snapping their wrist and throwing them into the closest tree.

"Clause three," She's regained her fighting stance.

"No medical ninja shall ever die until they are the last of their platoon." He notices this one is said with a faint smirk.

"Clause four," She rolls to the right, he does the same to cover each other's blind spots. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees black markings begin to run down her form, over her bare blood-splattered skin.

"Only those medic ninja who has mastered the Strength of a Hundred Technique of the ninja art Creation Rebirth are permitted to discard the above-mentioned laws." She screams out.

* * *

_Itachi is next to him, "We need to get out of here, now." Shisui nods._

_"I'll take lead, get the other two between us and you take up the rear, then lets high tail it out of here." He says as he wipes the sweat from his eyes._

* * *

Sakura was a finicky subject, she was well known and liked in the village. Even if his little cousin whose team she was once on, and still now and again, would never talk about her. But that doesn't mean he didn't hear some interesting things. She had made quite a name for herself among not only the other Jonin but also fellow ANBU members. As having seen her in action, he knew she deserved all the praise she got for her displays on the field. But he also heard other things.

ANBU HQ wasn't a place that many women frequented so sometimes he could hear whispers and little comments about her looks, but mostly her body. The feminine curve of where her waist and hips would meet. The sexual things men's brains focused on. He could see the kindness she showed when treating patients at the hospital. Telling the young children not to cry, that she'll make it all better. To the holding of the significant others breaking down in her lobby, belonging to those who were just out of reach to save. Even though she would be strong for them, you could see it in her eyes that she would cry and grieve with them in the privacy of her own home. Because just like himself, she also held on to the death of every comrade that she could not save.

Her eyes, her eyes are where the true story was to be told. He could see the passion in them, that lacked from the gossip that fell off others' lips. Her emerald eyes always seemed to hold something in it. Some days it looked as if it was regret, after a long mission or a bad shift at the hospital. Other days it was pure joy as they sparkled with light. He could only guess what caused her happiness on those days. But then there were other days like the day that she found out her parents had died on a mission; he saw the misery and the dullness they reflected.

To those looking over her eyes, one would see a well put together shinobi. A well-oiled machine that they were raised and trained to become. But under that, much like her sensei, she was hiding behind a mask, a wall of forced smiles, and a sweet tone to soothe others more than herself. In her darkest days, she could show kindness and compassion to others even when her own heart ached behind that wall.

He saw her when the pressure of the days was too much, when she took to the training grounds, leaving a wake in her path. How this woman could show grace, poise, and downright terrifying strength altogether, fascinated him. She could splinter trees with her fists that were older than the village itself. Then pat down her outfit and return to her shift.

She was a contradiction.

But her hands, those could heal the masses, and takedown armies altogether. The words coming from her lips could soothe those in pain; yet bark orders to her subordinates at the hospital when an ANBU squad returns from a mission bloody and broken on the brink of death

He didn't quite remember when he noticed her once again. The first time was that of acknowledgment of the fellow shinobi. When he saw her on their first mission as a squad blasting through enemy nin with those now familiar markings across her skin, and fists glowing with chakra. Much like when he was working his way up, she demanded people's attention. Though her mouth would never form the words, she said, I am Sakura, and I am here.

But, this time was different. Last time it was like a moment slapping across your face, but this time, this was a gradual feeling that had crept to the surface. Usually, he would look to her eyes when she spoke because he knew that's where the secrets, the true Sakura lied in wait. He'd look deep, just to see if he could catch another glimpse of that part of her, for some reason part of him wanted to know. But somehow lately, his eyes would begin to fall to other parts of her face. To her dimples when she smiled, her brows when they furrowed in frustration. Finally, his eyes would travel to her lips, when she would ask him a question, her lips would pout as she gazed up at him. He stood at least a whole head taller than her, looking down at her petite frame, her curves, her lips, he would curse to himself and they'd snap back up, lost in emerald pools again.

* * *

_He moved to the front of the group, pushing his way through the hoards to the front to create a hole. He knows that if he can just push a bit more, his comrades will be right behind him, as they always were. To them this was muscle memory by now, Shisui now takes the lead, the rest do their part._

_He took a sword slice to his left arm, but before he could let out a growl of pain, he had the enemy thrown to the ground, his heel pushing down on the man's throat, and therefore the life out of his body._

_They were all so tired already, they had just completed a mission, and were on the way home when they were ambushed. He knew they were all running on less than half of their chakra before the ambush even began._

_They were going to get out of this, he didn't know how, only that they would. He wouldn't allow it any other way._

* * *

A while back they had a mission, a strange one for his group as it was only him and the medic. This mission only required a few he supposed, surveillance, get in, and get out. There was a great lack of more difficult ANBU missions lately, so when the Hokage requested for him and her to be sent on this A-rank mission, he didn't have a reason to question it, pay was pay.

So, when their mission had led them to another night in the forest, it wasn't anything new to spend the night under the stars. Though, when they took their rest in the forest, he usually shared a tent with his cousin, and the pinkette was with their other teammate. Poor her he sometimes thought, because no one would want to share a tent with ever-snoring Genma. For this mission, they found their bedrolls side by side. He wanted to blame it on the convenience of only bringing one tent instead of two, or the excuse of being close to each other in case of an attack. But he knew deep down that it was what he wanted, a chance to be close to her.

She laid out on her bedroll, bangs tucked behind her ears, and eyes fluttering as the beginning of sleep was taking her.

He turned to her and spoke. Being on the same team, they had spoken every day for the past few months, but they never really talked. There were always missions to discuss, and some light banter that everyone needed now and again, especially in the line of work they were in, but they had never really had a conversation. Sure, as a team they had had their fair share of drunk nights and stories they regretted the next day. There had even been some flirting, but he wrote that up to shinobi, no matter the gender, were a horny bunch of fucks. But for what was on his mind, he had always been content with watching from afar.

"Hey, Sakura." He says nudging her with his elbow while he was sprawled out on his back arms behind his head. They were able to relax while a complete layered genjutsu hid them in plain sight.

Her eyes began to flutter open, lifting herself out of that middle place between being awake, and sleep.

"Hmm? Yes, Captain?"

He looked over at her again, taking in her form that was basking in the moonlight.

"Sakura, are you happy in ANBU?" She froze for a moment, taking in what he had said. He cursed himself. His curiosity had thrown a heavy question out of his mouth before even reading the situation at hand.

She joined him and laid on her back as well. When she answers, she drops all the formalities of a mission. "I think that's a double-sided question, Shisui."

"Ah, I suppose it is." Feeling a little dejected he holds his breath.

She turns to him now, "Then what about you, Captain?"

"I'd like to think so." He responded quite plainly. "I do my job, and I do it well. I protect the village; my clan, you know? But…" He trailed off.

She jumped in. "But you always feel like there is something else? Something the village can't give you?"

It was like she could read minds, he swallowed hard, hoped she did not notice. To play it cool he rolls over and starts "I'm not sure what it is, it just feels like…"

"Somethings missing." She dejected

He laughs it off, "When did you get so serious, Sakura-chan?"

She brushes her figures over his hand at his side, "You know Shisui, you can talk to me. I might be a doctor, but I am your teammate and friend before any of that. And you know I hate it when you call me that." She says with a playful tone.

He thought it should be easy to share his mind with someone he would trust with his life. Yet it was not at all. Taking a breath, he reaches for those fingertips that brushed by his hand, and to his surprise, she did not pull away. Words are hard, but he could muster up enough strength for this little action.

She moved to her elbows to prop herself up and rolled, facing each other laying on their sides, she leaned over and spoke in a soft tone, "Captain, I know you love the village, as I love the village. But don't forget to love yourself too."

She reached her other hand up to brush back his hair and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

That night, she didn't give more, and he didn't ask for more. But the night spoke in tongues of change, and new beginnings.

* * *

_He had finally broken through the group and was currently making a push for a clearing in the forest when he heard a deep grunt and some swearing after._

_Itachi had taken a blade to the back, but before he had time to do anything, Genma had sliced the man down, and Sakura was at his cousin's side healing him as they trudged forward. He could tell he was going unconscious, was it a loss of blood? Or chakra exhaustion? He did not know. But a soldier pill and patch up from the pink-headed teammate wouldn't be enough this time. Realizing this, Shisui ran back and threw his younger cousin over his shoulder when he heard her._

_"Captain, get him out of here!" She screamed; he knew she wouldn't allow any of them to die, he pulled her up and harshly drug her behind him with Itachi over his shoulder, Genma took to his side._

_"Captain, nothing is going to plan, what do we do?" The senbon user spits out through gritted teeth._

———

He wasn't sure again how this happened. After that mission, they had come home and hadn't seen each other in almost a week besides one group training session that she ran straight to the hospital after a message came declaring a medical emergency. He figured he needed to give her time to think, she would come to him in due time. But hell, he needed time to think, who was he to be kissing a girl not only several years his junior but also his subordinate?

He knew she was busy back at the hospital and had a short mission with her old team seven, so he understood. But when she showed up at his front door well into the night, in the middle of a downpour, with streaks of mascara running down her porcelain skin, he didn't question the way she threw herself at him, so he just hugged her back tighter while her makeup filled tears stained his white shirt.

He brought her into his house, brought them both down on the couch, and just held her, he never did ask what was wrong, or what had happened. He could have assumed though; she was in her lab coat still.

He whispers in her ear, "Shhh, it's gonna be alright baby girl." He rubbed soothing circles on her back, then he tried to wipe her tears when she looked at him. Her eyes again, the green depths telling her story.

"You spend all your time taking care of others, when's the last time someone took care of you?" He questioned but not expecting a response.

She let out a small smile, "Isn't that what I told you?"

They stayed that way the rest of the evening until the morning rays shined through the open curtains of his living room. They had both fallen asleep on the couch. He had propped himself over an armrest with one hand hanging off the couch, while the other found it way to the small of her back. She was curled up on his chest, clenching his shirt in her fists, but he noticed her face at least looked a bit more at peace than it did only a handful of hours ago.

He rubbed on her back until she was slowly becoming aware of her surroundings. She looked up at him from her place on her chest and murmured a low "Sorry…"

He laughed; he was not quite sure why he laughed. Could have been the half-asleep sound of her voice, the barely awake look in her eyes, or the confusion on her face when she realized she had fallen asleep on a man she had kissed, that just happened to also be her ANBU captain.

Her face looked almost annoyed. "What?"

"Nothing pinky, just funny how haven't seen you in a week and you show up on my doorstep in the rain like a stray kitten."

There was a glint of something in her eyes, she pushed herself up and started to make her way off the couch, and of him, and he wasn't having any of that, nope not today, maybe not ever.

He pulled her back down and engulfed her body with his, placing a kiss on her head.

At that moment, he decided everyone else is damned, this little spitfire of a medic, ANBU, kindhearted soul of a girl, was his.

——————————-

_"Genma," Shisui commanded. "Lead the way, I can't run as fast with him on my shoulder." Gesturing to an unconscious Itachi._

_He could see a clearing up ahead. He knew if they could just push a bit more, they could be at the border and border patrol was bound to notice the commotion._

_"Shisui, you can let go of me now," Sakura said. He hadn't even realized he was still dragging her behind him. "I'll bring up the back, get Itachi to safety."_

_He nodded in acceptance._

_The three of them ran like their lives depended on it, this time that phrase was not metaphorical. Genma took out a few in here and there and continued their push forward to the border. He was right on Genma's heels, his eyes were blazing red scouting in 360 degrees, he could feel the blood dripping down his cheeks. He knew his little medic would be quite angry with him later. He could already hear the lecture about overdoing it while she healed him a little less gently than normal._

_Then he heard a scream, one he had never heard before, and one he could have lived hundreds of lifetimes without._


	2. Overdue Chances

It was a Friday night, and Shisui was trashed if one could even call it that. He had returned from his 200th official ANBU mission, it had been a solo one and before he could even look for his little medic, his comrades that ran on testosterone had drug him out across town to celebrate. Genma had led the charge into the maybe not so great part of town and threw shots at him like it was water. Several other ANBU and Jonin had gathered around him to celebrate, even his little cousin Itachi had followed behind and indulged too, much to Shisui's surprise.

This was a big achievement he guessed. Not many people could say they had the same track record as him. ANBU was not a place people tended to stay. The young shinobi would sign their names away wanting to show their worth, but many cracked. They would get top-down orders to get out and move along with their career in another way or retire.

It was kind of ironic he thought, to celebrate achievements he wished were not necessary. These were not things he wanted to celebrate. The lives lost and the blood on his hand. These missions were something you couldn't, and _shouldn't_ , quantify. Yet in the name of duty and honor, they celebrated.

After what seemed like hours of bar hopping, an undisclosed number of drinks later, they had finally ended up at the local shinobi watering hole. Even his ANBU senpai, the one, and only Kakashi Hatake came to congratulate him.

He felt him clasp his hand to his back, "congrats kid" he heard. Shisui wished he had encountered him a bit earlier in the night, because honestly at this point, words were hard. As he tried to give a somewhat coherent response, he spotted his little medic. Walking in the door with some Chūnin following behind her, trying to start up a conversation.

She was wearing some godsent shinobi clothes. This was good for two reasons, first civilian clothes just weren't practical, I mean how do you move in those layers and restricting fabrics? Secondly, more for himself, shinobi clothes were also always tight, and they left little to the imagination. The cruse of those curves and it seemed the little chunin had taken notice too, much to his aggravation.

He knew whatever they were, at this point, wasn't public. It had been only a little over a month since she came to him, broken, in need of some reassurance. Since then they had shared some nights in comfort. Some simple touches, soft kisses here or there, but nothing more. It seemed they were both trying to navigate this new aspect of their lives. As though the saying went, " _It was better to have loved and to have lost, than to have never loved at all_ ", was not words those in their line of business took to heart quickly. Trust took time, after all the name of the ninja game was filled with lies, secrets, and false fronts, they'd be lying if they said it wouldn't affect them in their personal lives too.

When he saw that Chunin talking to her, hitting on her, he was a little irritated. The alcohol seemed to give him some sort of liquid courage, since he walked right up to her, and pushed the little punk of a Chunin out of the way. He snaked his arm around her waist and gave her a sloppy kiss on her cheek and announced to more than just her, "Sakura-channnn, I missed you."

Sakura turned red with embarrassment, as everyone took notice of the show playing out in front of them. She tried to laugh it off, "Oh Captain, you've celebrated quite a bit, tonight haven't you?"

Shisui had a goofy grin plastered to his face at that moment, he didn't have a reason, other than getting to look at her. The way her cheeks were tinted in a shade of red, how her eyes darted around the room in apparent discomfort and nerves. Even her lips in a thin line, trying to hold back a smile, out of happiness or nerves, he wasn't quite sure.

Much to his annoyance, Itachi stepped in between them, "Sakura-san, I'm sorry for his break in conduct, it seems he's celebrated a bit too much today" lifting Shisui's weight from her to him, "I'll take him home now."

Shisui was having none of it, shoving Itachi out of the way, he threw both his arms around her. And wagged his finger at Itachi, "You. No touchy me. Mr. No fun." It looked as if one of Itachi's veins was going to pop out of his head from irritation.

He turned to Sakura, "Babeee, don't let him take me home." He said with the biggest puppy dog eyes. With that look, the mop of disoriented hair on his head in conjunction with his grin, she couldn't say no.

Before Itachi could interject again, she sighed, "You weren't supposed to overdo it this early in the night. You're not staying here though; I'll take you home before you do something stupid." Her eyes darted around the room as she stated the last part.

Shisui looked to Itachi, Kakashi, Genma, and regrettably, as the next day would come to show, the rest of the bar, staff, patrons, and all. "See cousin, the pretty girl is gonna put me to bed." He said with an exaugurated wink.

Before anyone had a chance to involve themselves further, Sakura had drug him out into the street and off toward the Uchiha district.

Genma whispered under his breath, "That lucky bastard."

* * *

They were headed home to the village. He could not do much really, at the moment as he was slug over Itachi's back, while Genma leaned on Sakura for support as they made their way forward.

"Cousin, that was a very foolish thing to do."

Shisui rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Yeah, yeah better this way than to have Mikito-sama all worried."

Itachi responded, "I would have been fine, I don't need you to protect me, cousin."

"Ah 'tachi-chan, don't you need me anymore? All grown up, aren't you?" Shisui responded playfully, while Itachi looked onward in annoyance.

"Alright, both of you knock it off. Let's get back to the village before someone collapses on me." Sakura interjected.

The remaining distance to the village wasn't that far, for a shinobi in top shape. With most of all their chakra drained and injuries, it was almost worse than civilian pace. He had a lighting based ninjutsu that crisped his shoulder and down his abdomen and a kunai that lodged itself in the side of this knee. Genma had a blade wound dangerously close to the main artery in his thigh, they were not moving very quickly.

They had been on a mission to an outlying village in the Land of Fire. The mission itself had a few layers. They were to first scout and address the rumors that had found the way to Konoha. Some con artists had been posing as government officials from the Land of Fire and they were there to collect taxes. Apparently, in the beginning, the people thought it was legit and gave the amount they asked for. But as the cons got more comfortable, they began asking for more and more. Eventually leading to threats of physical violence when the people either couldn't or refused to pay.

When they arrived it was what they expected and more. Not only were they con artists, but they were also decently trained rouge nin that was hired by a local government head turned corrupt. Demanding that this was money he deserved for taking care of the village. Even worse, it turns out his little scheme had gotten out of hand and the rouge nin had now turned the tables on him.

Once they had done a decent amount of recon on the area, they had raided the residence where the group had been hiding out. It was disgusting, the amount of money, possessions, and much to the surprise of the group of young women, they had taken. So not only did they have to take out the rouge nin, but they also had to protect the captives they had found at the hideout that were equally afraid of ANBU operatives clad in all black and wearing masks. It made for a difficult process of seek, destroy, but now also protect. Leading to the injuries his team had sustained.

He had chalked this mission up as a failure, his fault, and now a teammate was returning to the village injured. One could say that it was better than the alternative, someone not returning at all, but he wouldn't believe it. They were too good to be injured by rouge nin like that, it was because of his oversight that they were in this position, he got cocky, careless, and failed to notice the details.

After the battle he sent a crow back to the village with a message to the Hokage about what they had found, requesting more civilian friendly back up to help the village clean up the mess. The mess was not only from the rouge nin but the battle they were involved in. He could tell that Sakura's heart was breaking in two. He saw the way her shoulders slumped as they left the little village. It wasn't that she wanted to help them more than healing her team, he knew it was actually that she wanted to help everyone. She wanted to stay and help these people, yet the duty of ANBU was over and they were to return to the village. No matter the state of their bodies, or the people around them, they were to never reveal themselves. Furthermore, as the local population didn't seem to take well to the unnerving ambiguity of their cloaks and masks, they took their leave.

As the gates to Kohona came into view after what felt like hours later, Shisui was starting to lose this battle of the mind when the pain of the ninjutsu strike would throb. It was taking everything to not moan out in pain. He had to think that maybe it was less about the pain and more about the impending doom of being stuck in the hospital for an undetermined amount of time.

Luckily, Genma had the same thought. "Hey, Sakura-chan," Genma said with a hint of mischievous in his tone.

Sakura rolled her eyes, "Genma, you know to not call me that, and the answer is no."

"Hey, you didn't even let me ask my question!" Genma said whiningly.

"The answer is still no, you're going to the hospital."

"Come on Sakura-chan, just stop the bleeding and let me crash on the couch. Save your chakra on the superficial stuff. The scars are good battle stories for picking up chicks anyway." He said with a wink

Sakura sighed, in what he assumed to be defeat, and glanced at him; "You too Captain?"

He feared maybe she knew them too well, he let out a small grin. "Well, if your inviting me over I can't say no, that would just be rude."

As they pushed through the gates and checked in with the chunin on guard, they pathetically hobbled down the road towards her apartment, Itachi lead the way and laid him down on the kitchen table like it was muscle memory, they had done this for each other to many times before, he let out a grunt of pain.

She helped Genma into a chair and then dashed off to the backroom that was stocked with medical supplies for occasions just like this. She came back into the room biting into a soldier pill, then proceeded to rip off Genma's pants till he was down to his underwear and started healing the deep cut in his thigh.

"Woah there honey, I didn't know it was that kind of party."

She gave him a solid whack on the head, "Okay, take a shower, there are extra clothes in the hall closet. Don't get any blood on my stuff! Last time I had to buy a new couch" She then offered him some pain killers that would help him sleep a bit too, Shisui thought that it was mostly to shut him up though, even Sakura had her daily Genma limits.

She then turned back to him and Itachi by the table, eyes slanting to his. "Itachi, please get him stripped while I get some more things from the back."

Itachi nodded in acceptance, took out a kunai and the rest of his shirt was nothing more than old rags now. When she returned, he laid there on the table, after his shirt was off, he could see the damage, rather than just feel it. His shoulder was crisped and blown to pieces, there were chunks of skin falling off he could now see that Itachi had taken off the hastily done field bandage effectively holding his arm together. He had a large gash, the direct point at which the jutsu had hit and spread out from that ran from the back of his shoulder, curving about the side to the tips of his hip bone.

"Captain, you're a bit worse than I thought. Itachi, can you make sure Genma gets settled? Then go home and take care of yourself." He nodded in acceptance again and left the room. Itachi was never one much for words anyway.

When Itachi left the room, she turned to him. "You know that was pretty stupid of you." She said pulled out fragmented bits of metal that had embedded in his knee.

He laughed, which was probably a bad idea since the pain in his side doubled at that moment. "You know how it is Sakura, he's family."

She sighed, "You know I understand better than anyone that you should protect those you care about. Just don't be so reckless next time?"

Somewhere inside of him he wants to make that small promise for her but knows it not possible. He thinks back to that night not so long ago that had changed things between them. Changed it had, but he was still unsure of what exactly changed.

The night continues like the countless other times she had patched up the team at her place. She had healed the gash on his shoulder and side. He was all bandaged up since the skin was still raw and sprawled out on the recliner in her living room. Gemma was passed out on the couch and she was in the kitchen making something he hoped tasted as good as it smelled.

Itachi had left for the evening as if he didn't return home Mikoto Sama would be worried. He would be lying if he didn't say he was a little jealous. Someone to come home to, a family. Now he was an Uchiha, he had a large, sometimes too large, extended family. Yet he lived alone. Mikoto tried her best to include him in closer family gatherings. Sometimes he would humor her and attend, but it was hard, as he didn't quite fit. 

He thought Genma felt the same way. He had mentioned a few things about his upbringing throughout the time they had been on the same team, but he had never once mentioned a family. He too probably would end up alone back at an empty apartment. His bed might get warmed every now again by a fling, but he never took him for one to be so serious as to find something more permanent. Wither he was downright against the age-old notion of marriage, or he rejected the idea out of fear, who knows, they were shinobi.

He thought his life would always be the same, his personal life would be irrelevant as your first and primary duty was to the village and clan. As an Uchiha, he assumed that at one point the clan elders would assign him a wife. Someone to bore children and pass on the Uchiha genes. No love would be involved, nothing more than a business transaction. It had happened to many before him, he wasn't so optimistic that his life would be any different.

But as he sits here, on her armchair, patched up by her, smelling the deliciousness of her cooking down the hall, even with Genma’s snoring coming from the couch next to him. His mind can't help but travel to places that might be dangerous, and for the first time selfish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos, bookmarks, and especially reviews! Honestly, it means the world to me to get a notification like that. I hope no matter what your day is like, you can hideaway for a bit and dive into a good story as I do frequently.
> 
> Much love- blinkstated


	3. Unworthy Acknowledgments

The last number of months with Harano Sakura had been liberating. The vicious cycle of missions, back to the village, then off to another mission had been broken up thanks to a girl with pink hair. Currently, they were lounging around his house, she was sprawled out on the floor reading a medical textbook with scrolls everywhere, successfully overtaking his living space. But he could care less about that, he always liked to watch her eyes go wide when she read something interesting, or her brows start to furrow when something was a bit too complicated.

On their lazy days like this, he could feel stress peeling off him. It was standard and repetitive at this point, but he did not mean that in a bad way. Either they'd come back from a mission together, or his solo ones, she'd heal him up and he would throw her over his shoulder, with a nice smack on her ass. That always resulted in a giggle from her and carried her through whoever's apartment they were at and claimed her body, mind, and soul. For those things of hers were shared with him, and no one else. He would not waste those chances he was given.

"Oi, babe, you trying to tease me again?" He said while trailing his eyes up and down her body that was stretched out on the floor. White porcelain legs expanding from his sweater turned dressed she claimed as her own.

She smirked "Oh Captain, whatever do you mean?" she said teasingly while tracing circles with her fingertips along the end of the sweater that engulfed her small frame.

He jumped on the floor to tackle her after her enticing actions, their legs twisted as they both fought for dominance.

He thought back to the days before, the dark days he called them. The days when duty was all that he ever thought about. He was an Uchiha, it was instilled in them; duty, honor, sacrifice, was all that mattered. Be a good shinobi, do good by the clan, and you shall be rewarded.

He was still a hard ass in the field, as it was the same as it always was. Weakness meant people ended up dead. But off the field he felt himself become a little softer, a little kinder, thinking of other things this short life has to offer.

He was grateful for her presence, her love if he dares say it. If he were to be a little cocky, he'd like to think that he did the same for her in some small way.

"It's going to be fine, don't worry." He insisted, because maybe if he said it out loud he would believe it too. But honestly, he didn't want to be doing this either. She was officially accompanying him to a meal with some extended family for a holiday. She had been over with Mikoto and the man she had dubbed, "Stick-up-his-ass sama" as Sasuke's teammate countless times before. But coming as a lover from outside the Uchiha clan, fuck he wouldn't wish that on anyone, but there they were.

They were approaching the steps to the main house. He could hear her heart pounding, but honestly, the worst was over. When word had started to spread about their relationship, Mikoto had come to his place pounding on the door demanding answers. She was the closest thing he had to a mom, and she was living up to the title.

She loved that little Sakura she told him, and there better not be any funny business or she'll have his ass. He had assured her that she had nothing to worry about as Mikoto herself had always shown him how to be a gentleman and treat a lady. These words seemed to please her, she hugged and congratulated him.

The rest of the family, let alone the village, was next on the list. It was not so much taboo for shinobi to date, or 'enjoy', their teammates. Their line of work involved a lot of stress, and therefore stress relief. You don't even have to understand 2+2 to know what that means. But when there was a captain and a subordinate involved it did raise some questions. For any relationship that fell on the same team, it had to pass through the right channels. All members of the team had to agree to the arrangement. Otherwise, the team would be split. You couldn't have squads that counted on each other for life and death situations to have a bias within them. They had to trust each other completely.

He did not want them to split; he was finally a true captain to a team he trusted with his life that worked like a well-oiled machine. But he would understand if something had to change.  
Thankfully Genma and Itachi had given their blessings, of course completely differently reflecting each of their styles.

The dirty old bastard had questioned about his sex life. Asking how an old man like himself got so lucky. 33 was not old, okay maybe he was getting there. But god forbid if Sakura thought he was old. So, he kept that bit to himself. Itachi's blessing had been in the best, yet simple fashion, to say the least. "You've been more yourself lately, I approve. Don't do anything stupid." They both still trusted us completely, the team would remain.

Team 7, on the other hand, had thrown a tantrum in the most cliché Team 7 style. Naruto had claimed he had, "deflowered" her and had challenged the dirty old Uchiha to a spar. Sasuke had at first said nothing but, "What?" Kakashi had seen them at the bar so he had his thoughts beforehand but gave him an intimidating glare when they had become official and those eyes had said enough for him to get the message loud and clear. Thankfully, her old teammates had all come around. It was much easier that way instead of sneaking about the village.

Her friends had all been thrilled, to say the least. He had known of the blonde Yamanaka from ANBU having to work a bit with T&I. She had been nothing but professional, but wow, was she something else outside of work. She had been the first to seek them out, right after telling her teammates she had heard from Naruto. She had barged into Sakura's apartment one afternoon while they were enjoying each other's company, reading, and laying about. She had exclaimed, "FOREHEAD!" as the door slammed against the wall and went about telling her how proud of her she was of her to get a boyfriend and that it was about damn time like he wasn't sitting on the couch listening to the whole conversation. She pointed a finger in his direction, "You better not mess this up!" This seemed to be a common theme among her friends.

This was the next big step, and hopefully the last of this crap. He opened the door to the main house and was greeted by Mikoto who ushered them in for the meal. They were seating around a large table. They sat next to Itachi and Sasuke to the left of their parents. While other distinguished members and elders filled the remaining spots, about 12 in all.

As they sat and started to converse with Itachi, he could tell her heart was still beating quite quickly for what was about to come. He reached his hand out to cover hers and drew small circles with his thumb to calm her. It seemed to do the trick.

As they ate, they were asked several questions. As being from a clan and being a well-decorated member, the elders had this feeling they could control his life. Honest, he didn't give a fuck what they said, but it would make things a lot easier if they agreed to the relationship. This wasn't even about marriage; this was them sticking their nose in his dating life. He was not looking forward to the day that.

He was stealing glances her way. She was well dressed and poised. She spoke clear when spoken to and offered intriguing yet polite conversation to the dinner party. He was so impressed. If this were flipped the other way around, he definitely would have body flickered right the fuck out of there.

As the conversation flowed things seemed to be looking up. He thought the elders were intrigued by the fact that the ex-Hokage's apprentice to be associated with the clan. She also had ANBU status and an overall outstanding reputation with the village for her healing abilities. It seemed like this dinner would satisfy the noisy old bastards for a while.

As they left the dinner, she turned to him. "I thought I was going to die in there. It was 15 or so Uchiha's vs me. I was done for if that went sideways."

He let off a low chuckle. "Oh, stop it. You know I would never let anything happen to you right?"

She smiled and pulled him in for a kiss, as who was he to not oblige the lovely miss?

As he kissed her, he thought that it was true, he would protect her at all costs. He said it from the heart, and he intended to keep that promise.

For the first time in his life. He was happy.

————-

He was running through the forest at breakneck speed, as much as one would with the damage he had taken, and the limp he was now sporting. He was returning from a solo mission in Rain country. He could see the village gates approaching in the distance.

The village, Kohona, his home. The place that held his precious people. The reason he did this to himself day in and day out. He became this mess so that others could live in peaceful ignorance. He knew right where he needed to go to complete the mission, but he also knew where he really needed to be for himself. He tried to forget the fact that it was nearing 3 in the morning. She would have to forgive him because he needed this, he needed her.

Much like that night she stood crying on his porch reaching for him, today, he came in search of her. He banged on her door and quickly a startled, but relieved when she saw his face, Sakura had appeared on the other side. She ushered him in without a word.

She could see the state he was in. Bloodied, limping, and all the physical things that every shinobi had when returning from a battle. But this time, his eyes spoke louder than his physical wounds. She embraced him, she held him, and he lowered his head to her shoulder and just sank from there. He was on his knees hugging her around her waist, head lowered in defeat. He was holding her tight, but she was grasping him even tighter. Reassuring him she was there. She held him like that for a long time and then suggested, "Let's get you cleaned up. It's my turn to take care of you."

As she helped him undress, she healed what she could and led him to the bathroom. He was able to shower and wash the grime, the blood, and the guilt from his skin, but not his mind. He finished and she was there waiting with a towel. She helped him dry off not unlike a mother would do to a child and fetched him new clothes. She settled them on her bed where she dressed his wounds but did not ask any questions. Because she knew all too well herself, not every mission went as you thought it would. Things went wrong sometimes, and this time unluckily for him very, very wrong.

Before he would suffer in silence, drown in a bottle, but now, he knew he could not do this alone. She was his light in this world. The one that held calmness and grace that eased his mind when it all became too much. Too much pain, too much suffering, too much death. For a shinobi, he was a hard ass, a detail-oriented machine. But as a man, he was broken, in search of, in need of something more. Not a solution to the problems, but a guiding hand. And here she was, offering that life on a silver platter for him. He just needed to take it. That was easier said than done as it would be selfish of himself. To claim this beautiful creature for himself, a broken monster at best. Yet day after day, here she was caring for him in ways he did not deserve. Radiating her warmth all around for him to bask in.

By the grace of God, he did not have to do this alone, because he had her. For the first time in his life, he was in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you reading, the kudos and especially commenting!! dijayeah, cerezo, Kammy, Lea, and delightfulcoffee, Nrf34, LunadelaCour, Mnmarissa! I appreciate all of you! Let's spread a bit more love in this crazy world.
> 
> -Blinkstated

**Author's Note:**

> I was told this is a better place to post, so here I am. Let me know what you think. More on the way. Enjoy.


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